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Making friends and building relationships.

Transcription

How to make new friends.

Hi I’m Brian Pombo, welcome back to Brian J. Pombo Live.

A lot of what we do deals in business and the ideas of business, the tactics, strategies, and principles behind business, running a business, basically building a business to do what you want it to do for you and your life.

And today, I’m going to be talking about something that is very human and goes far across the lines. As far as business goes, the reason why I’m talking about it, is that getting to know more people, is what business is all about.

Business is about relationships, one of the top three pillars at BrianJPombo.com is being relationship reliant, and you just have to realize that all business is based on relationships.

If you get that part, then the real trick becomes, Okay, how do I make more relationships with the right type of people not know that there are the right and wrong type of people, but there are a right type of people that work well for you have a business relationship.

And there are people that are not and it’s not a good thing or a bad thing?

It’s just how it is.

So, this question got asked online, and this question is usually asked by a particular type of person. So I have an answer if you’re this particular type of person, what type of person asks, How do you meet new friends?

This is a person who does not naturally know how to meet new friends. And I was one of these people. Okay, how did I learn how to meet through friends?

Well, first, you got to realize why you don’t know how to meet new friends, you don’t know how to meet new friends, because you are not a natural people person, you are more task-oriented than people-oriented.

This is something that’s been talked about a lot through personality theory, psychology, and so forth. What one of the main theories and personalities is called the DISC personality where you have a certain amount of each of these traits, these levels of traits, these four different areas of a trade quadrant.

And one of the areas that you’re judged by is whether you’re more people-oriented, or task-oriented.

Now there are some people that are right down the middle. And they’re just as equally task and people-oriented. But most of us tend to be a little more one than the other. Sometimes we’re better at one or the other.

It’s not something that you’re stuck in for your entire life, you can learn the skill of working with people, but you’re naturally inclined toward one side or the other, usually, most of your life.

This is something I did not understand most of my childhood, I was always very outgoing, but very task-oriented.

So I can work with people and everything. But only when a task was associated with it, I’m a very, I got to have a project around, it’s got to be work or a project, it’s got to have a step by step process to it.

It’s got to be something that I can sink my teeth into and when I have that I can make great friends with people and stuff that I learned through time.

Here’s one of the things I used to do is just as an example, and maybe you’ll relate somewhat to it, and maybe you won’t. But to give you an idea, especially if you’re more people-oriented, it’s important that you know how task-oriented people think.

During a break at recess, I would find, instead of going out and playing the game, most of the time I would not participate in just the basketball game or the kickball game, what I would do is I would find a project to work on.

And early on, I would sell things I would put things together and sell them to people, different people in my class, and the other classes.

Then as I got older I I started developing a TV show that we were going to videotape and put on public access television.

I was writing scripts and casting people until I go around and I find people who could play the different characters in the sketch, the skit skits, or sketch comedies.

It was built in like a Saturday Night Live based TV show and filling in the spots with different people in my class and I go by and kind of pick the wound and say, Hey, would you be willing to be on the show and so forth and have them sign it and talk to him about it.

So I always had a task that was doing it would allow me to meet anybody and do anything. As long as I had a task associated with it.

I didn’t do this consciously. It’s just where I naturally was inclined toward and so what I found is the magic in meeting new people is having a reason to meet them.

If you’re people-oriented, you don’t need a reason you meet people, especially if you’re extremely people-oriented.

You can meet people anywhere, for any reason, and start up a conversation with anyone if you’re far enough in that extreme, if you’re not, you may have to find a reason you may have to have a business or a project.

So I’ve got three different projects that I like to plug people into right now I’ve talked about them in the past, I have a political project I’m working on I have a business project that’s related to BrianJPombo.com and I have another business that I’m building, that that’s off to the side that I also work on, looking for particular people.

For each one, some people will apply that some people may qualify for all of them, some people may qualify for none of them, but it gives me something to talk to people about.

I can go and talk to strangers, I can go and have a conversation with anybody, asking them questions, finding out more about them. When I keep in mind these projects.

If I don’t do that, I have a tough time, just I can small talk people, I can talk to them a certain for a certain period of time, but I don’t have the motivation to directly talk to people unless I can find a project to wrap it around.

Hopefully, that’s helpful to you, if you’re the type of person that’s looking for ways of meeting new people find a project. I know that’s very broad, but you need to have something you’re moving forward with.

If you’ve got that you’ll find it’s easier to meet new people and there’s a lot of techniques on how to go about meeting new people.

One of the ways is just doing more things that you enjoy doing, and finding other people that like doing that. So finding affinity groups that you can tie into even if it’s stuff that’s, that’s silly, or just or childish or whatever.

Find the things that interest you I think I look at all the different things that I’ve been interested in my lifetime. I’ve talked about old-time radio shows, and comic books, and all this stuff.

Well, I go and I sign up for these groups on Facebook. It’s free, there are people there anyway, and it’s a reason to meet up. I like hiking. So we find hiking groups that are local that we can we find out when the hikes are and we go and we meet people. It’s you’re able to do it, but you may lack the motivation to do it.

The motivation comes by having a project and finding a good way of talking with people I’ve talked about books and so forth.

If you go back and look at other videos on BrianJPombo.com you can see we’ve discussed a whole lot on using questions in order to get to know people better.

There are lots of ways it’s a skill, it takes time. Be patient with yourself and try some things out get out there. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter.

Was that helpful at all? Is there anything?

Do you have trouble meeting new friends? Leave a comment wherever you’re watching or listening to this or go to BrianJPombo.com and leave a comment there.

Hey, I have a book all about business. not directly related to making friends but you’ll make friends if you learn how to build a business.

The Amazon-Proof way goes check out my book, 9 Ways to Amazon-Proof Your Business. You get a free copy at AmazonProofBook.com all one word AmazonProofBook.com.

We’ll see you tomorrow.

In the meantime, get out there and let the magic happen.