Tag: Neediness

Rejection is NOT Your Problem

Posted on by brianjpombo

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You may have a lot of problems but rejection ain’t one of them. I’m Brian Pombo with BrianJPombo.com welcome back. We’re here every day at Brian J. Pombo Live.

I’m not in the Orange Office today, I am in Grants Pass. Decided to get outside, enjoy some of the nice weather.

Going back to this book, Start With No, by Jim Camp. Wanting to talk a little bit about rejection because it affects you even if you’re an ecommerce owner, even if you own….really no matter what, if you’re looking to do anything that we’ve been talking about.

Including a content marketing, rejection is always kinda there on the tip of your mind somewhere.

Everyone wants to be liked okay. To some extent or another, everyone wants to be liked or at least not disregarded and where does that come from?

What does it really come down to? And I found a great passage here from this book. I wanted to read it to you real quick.

It said, “Fear of rejection is a sign of neediness. Specifically the need to be liked. It’s imperative for the negotiator to understand what rejection is and who can reject you and who cannot. Here’s the point.

Your adversaries in a negotiation cannot reject you. There’s nothing you need from them, so how can they reject you? It’s impossible. The parent can reject a child because the child certainly needs the parent.

The spouse can reject the spouse. The teacher can even reject the student in the early grades when boy and girl truly does need this teacher, but can your adversary in a negotiation really reject you? They don’t have such power. Never, never allow them to believe they do. Rejection is a mentality.”

It’s a mental state and it comes back to neediness like we were talking about yesterday. If you have a neediness, if you have something that you need from the other person, if you need them to buy what you’re doing, if you need them to like you, that’s where your fear of rejection all comes from.

You get rid of the fear of rejection by getting rid of the need.

This is definitely ties in directly with what we were talking about yesterday. Be careful about rejection. If you fear rejection, you just got to back off from that.

The less you care about whether people like you or not, the less you care about whether people buy what you’re selling, the less you’re going to fear rejection.

And it doesn’t matter what the other party ends up saying. It doesn’t matter how people take you, when you put yourself out there on video or through a podcast or through a blog post. You’re just putting something out there.

If people like it, they can take it. If they don’t, they don’t need to. And I like how he compares it back to other things. If you listen to a lot of the language that we talk about rejection and desperation and neediness, it ties back into relationships.

If you’re needy for the other person, that person’s….for one thing, they’re not going to want to be around you as much. Everyone says they want to be needed, and in a sense I guess you could say to some extent, but it’s more like they just want to be liked and they want the other person to want them to like them. But in the long run, no one wants to be clung on to.

That’s why people are always running in a way from anybody that’s trying to really make a hard sale or anything of that sort.

So just be careful about that in your own business. Be careful about the fear of rejection, especially when it comes to developing any type of content marketing. If you are an owner or an executive in the self-reliance field, meaning you make products or develop services that help people to become more self reliant, go to DreamBizChat.com the link is in the description.

Go and check that out and tomorrow we are going to be switching gears again. We’re going to be talking about tactics that you could use online with video marketing specifically on Youtube.

This’ll help you, especially if you already do that, but if you don’t, it’ll give you some tips on how to go about doing it. We’re going to talk about that tomorrow.

Go to DreamBizChat.com otherwise, we’ll see you then get out there and let the magic happen.

Never Ever, Ever Do This…

Posted on by brianjpombo

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Never, ever, ever do this.

Do what I’m going to tell you in just a second.

First, let me introduce myself to everybody that may be new. My name’s Brian Pombo with BrianJPombo.com. I’m here in what I lovingly refer to as the Orange Office in Grants Pass, Oregon.

And today your watching Brian J Pombo Live, a podcast of video vlog, something that we do daily. So be sure and follow us like us. Subscribe wherever you’re at, do whatever so that you can keep seeing these from here on out. If you go onto any of your podcasts dealy bobs, you can listen to us wherever you listen to podcasts.

You just gotta subscribe to it. Brian J Pombo Live. Welcome, we are brought to you by….I’m gonna do a quick commercial. I’m going to get to the subject. Don’t worry. We’ll get there.

Got to do a quick commercial though.

We’re brought to you by DreamBizChat.com, DreamBizChat.com and specifically for business owners and executives, especially ones that are in the self-reliance field. If you have products, services, or a story that relates with people and helps people to become more self reliant, you’re someone I like to talk to.

Go to DreamBizChat.com you can click on the link in the description wherever you’re catching this ad. DreamBizChat.com there’s a quick video there, go watch it, fill out the application. If you think what I talk about in that video applies to you.

Now, what should you never ever, ever do? If you have this problem, if people on your team have this problem, it needs to be exercised like a demon, you gotta exercise that out of them.

I’m telling you, you got to get this out of all the programming of the people on your team, out of all of the programming or the people that you work with. Is this one issue and it is rampant across the United States, I can tell you that for sure.

Especially for people who are new in any type of business or sales or negotiation that happens within the business world.

What is this one thing? It’s called neediness.

You can’t be needy and succeed. You can’t be needy and trusted. It’s a really big deal. Okay. I’m going to give you a great book as one of my book recommendations.

This one’s called, “Start With No”, this is by Jim Camp. He passed away a few years back, but this guy was a negotiations, guru I guess you can say. He actually took his concepts to the FBI, they developed an entire program on negotiations based off of what he talks about and you’ll hear.

You’ll see a lot of people out there that will latch onto a lot of the same concepts he had. He’s not completely unique, but he has a unique way of saying things.

This book, I’ll tell you the truth, it’s a little dry. For most people It’ll be a little dry, but if you can stick with it or you can get ahold of any of his other books or get ahold of any of his other programs that he has out there, there’s still a lot out there.

I know I was turned onto this by Michael Senoff and Ben Settle. They were both promoters of Jim Camp. They have interviews and so forth out there you go check this out.

Now I want to read you a quick passage from this it has to do with neediness.

He says, “In Western culture we see ourselves as buyers, don’t we. We proudly buy and consume as much as we can. The salesperson on the other hand has a problem with his or her self image. The very term sales is being replaced in many fields by business development because the image of the sales person is that of a huckster on the street almost. More important the salesperson is definitely the dependent party in the negotiation. He or she must be prepared to give to compromise while the buyer takes everything he or she can get, after all, the buyer can go elsewhere in most cases, but the poor seller needs the deal. The self image of the individual in the selling role traps him or her in a neediness mode and often leads to bad deals.”

Neediness is very much a perspective thing.

It’s very relative. You can change your perspective on things, but you have to see where the neediness comes from. You’ve got to step back away from your neediness and realize that you’re caught up with something and maybe it means that you need a different job.

Maybe it means that you need to secure your finances elsewhere while you’re trying to grow a business, while you’re trying to move forward with a sales position, something of that sort.

You have to pay attention to that neediness. It eventually has to go away. It needs to go away completely. You at least need to tap down the showing of neediness and it comes from really trying to get a person to buy something, really trying to get a person to buy into something.

The most common places you see this in network marketing, any type of party sales, any type of, when a person is involved in any form of direct sales. Where they’re trying to get their friends and family to buy certain products that they have, there’s this neediness that’s attached to it and it makes everyone feel sick to their stomach when someone comes to them and they’re trying to get them to do something.

And that neediness, it’s like it’s calling out for you. You know the feeling being on the other end of it, but do you realize that you might be putting that out there yourself?

Tomorrow we’re going to talk about how your fear of rejection, if you really fear rejection or you resent being rejected, it’s tied to your neediness. We’re going to dig into this neediness topic a little stronger because it might be the one piece that’s really holding back your success in life.

So tomorrow we’ll get onto that. In the meantime, get out there and let the magic happen.