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How do your feelings define your actions?
Hi this is Brian Pombo, welcome back to the Orange Office in Grants Pass, Oregon.
I got some books I want to tell you about. And today we’re continuing our series all on human psychology and the three different modes, of three different parts of your brain, the Cognitive, the Affective and the Conative. Today we’re going to talk about….your feelings.
How do you feel, not just right now but in general?
How do you feel, how does your mind go about feeling things? How is that different from other people that you know, especially different from your spouse, from your significant other, from other people that you may have been attracted to now or in the future?
It’s almost always the opposite when it comes to Affective.
This is a very, very clear thing, is that at some point that there is something that’s dynamically different between you and the person you’re most interested in. And very oftentimes it’s on the Affective of scale.
So we’re going to go through that a little bit. I’m going to go through the four parts of human personality, the four-part model. I’m going to tell you about a couple of books, a couple things to look into.
If you’re interested in this, you want to find out some more personally, my favorite thing to look at is called the D I S C model, the DISC model.
And one of the best people out there talking about it today that I have found. It’s a guy named Dr Robert Rome. This is one of his top books in terms of that it’s a positive personality profiles. He’s got different colors here representing the D I S or C.
This is Dr Rome right here. I’ve got to see him. I’ve got to meet him in person a couple times. He’s given speeches at conventions and conferences that I’ve been at. Really fond of him. He’s a great speaker.
You can see some of his videos on YouTube and so forth. Robert Rome, go and check out Positive Personality Profiles. That’s a really good book.
Another good book. The, she doesn’t use the D I S C but this was actually the original book that I read on this and it’s called Personality Plus, by Florence Littauer.
This is a pretty much a classic in the field of personality theory. I think this came out, let me see…..yeah, 1983. The original version of this came out and she uses the original terminology from one of the first people that ever started discussing personality theory, which was Hippocrates.
If you’ve ever heard of the Hippocratic Oath, famous, famous Greek Hippocrates came up with the four different personality theory and she uses those. That terminology, but it’s the same concept. You can, you could tie that back to DISC and I’ll tell you more about what that is in a second. Just hold on. This is my favorite book and you can tell by how worn out it is.
My favorite book on personalities is called Getting to Know You. This is by Chris Carey.
He passed away a number of years ago. If you know about this book, if you know about Chris Carey and if you know his family or anybody that holds the rights to this book, let me know. I would love to see this republished and I love to do it myself if necessary, because this is such a great book. I’ve passed it on to countless others that have read it.
I’ve never heard of bad review back from it. It’s a very simplified version of the entire DISC profile. I believe he learned a lot of his stuff from Dr Rome. I know they work together at some point. Those are some ways that you could find out more about this.
Let me tie it down. We can find out more about you and about which areas in DISC that you are strongest in. Now, the basic theory says that we all have a little bit of each of these traits.
At some point we may have a lot or a little across the board, but at some point you probably have two that are stronger than the other and this is how you define it. So if we divide this up into a quadrant and we see D, I, S, C.
Everyone’s got a little bit of each of these four and I’ll define for you what these are. It first comes down to are you more task oriented or are you more people oriented. Now you say, well in certain circumstances I’m more task oriented and in certain circumstances I’m more people oriented.
It just depends on what the circumstances and I completely understand. But when you feel like you’re at your highest and when you feel like you’re at your most.
Are you more of a people person and more in the relationship mode or are you more in task mode and more of a working mode task or people oriented?
Are you more one way or the other?
Pick one of those, you know, it doesn’t have to be perfect. You can always change it later.
Like Robert Rome says. And then the second thing that you go by is, are you more um, outgoing? Or introverted?
Maybe there are better words for this. This is just how I would say it just off the top of my head.
Are you more outgoing or introverted?
Are you more task or people?
Pick one of those and sure, I know for myself, I tend to be a little bit more extroverted in general, but not in all cases. I’m introverted a lot, especially with people I don’t know in circumstances that are new to me, you would think I’m a very quiet, very to myself person.
At my highest though I’m more outgoing and at my highest I’m actually more task oriented than people oriented. So just using myself as an example, my top one is what they call D and it’s a more, more determined task oriented, outgoing individual if you, if your highest is on the D end of things.
If I had to pick a secondary trait, it would actually be the S. which it tends to be the opposite of what D is. S is very reserved and sensitive.
They are people oriented, but introverted. If you are mainly S you are going to have more of those types of traits and I can go into more detail. You go into a lot more detail on each of these.
I as a person that is people oriented and outgoing, so people you know that like to talk a lot like, like to be the center of attention and are very much more about people as opposed to tasks. If they’re outgoing and people oriented, that makes them an I.
If you know anybody that’s task oriented and introverted tend to be high intellectuals tend to be very thoughtful about very particular subjects.
They tend to be more higher C oriented. So you tend to have two of these that are your highest and that’s kind of how you would define people. And the funny thing is is by going through Affective, you can see people’s traits and how they hold themselves.
Once again, it has very much only to do with the feeling side of you and in terms of how you work with people, that is where DISC mainly concentrates its efforts. Not all people define it by these things.
For example, Chris Carey and getting to know you instead of saying outgoing and introverted, he actually says fast and slow, but for some reason that still tends to be the same thing.
For some reason the people who are outgoing tend to be a little faster and introverted tend to be a little slower. This isn’t perfect science, this is all theory.
But you get to know DISC well and it will change how you relate with yourself and how you relate with people. You can be a quick study of where a person’s coming from.
You can back off from people that are more introverted and give them the space necessary and you can be more outgoing with a person that’s more outgoing and more interactive with a person that that’s that way.
There’s a number of ways that you can handle this, but it will change your relationships, everything else. Just if you learn the Affective of model. But it isn’t everything.
Another thing is the Conative model, which I talked about before that Kathy Colby discusses. We’re going to talk about that tomorrow.
If you enjoy this type of talk, if you want to know how this type of talk and work with your employees, with your coworkers, with your vendors, what have you. In your specific situation, if you’d like to talk about how this can fit to actually make your business better and you happen to work in the self-reliance field.
If you have product services, a story that promotes self-reliance in your business and you’re the business owner or you’re an executive, you’re a one of the main people in that business, a decision maker. You’re someone I’d like to talk to.
Go to DreamBizChat.com. Link is in the description. Watch the video. Fill out the form. If you’re interested in talking with me and I’d be happy to talk with you tomorrow. Like I said, we’re going to be talking about the Conative, which is all about how you act, how you do, how you work basically.
In your work mode, in the different part of the brain lights up. It’s not specifically a feeling part of you, it’s how you work. It’s how you produce. It’s how your creative, that is the Conative.
We’re going to talk about that tomorrow, just a brief crash course, but we’ll see you then. In the meantime, get out there and let the magic happen.