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Some thoughts on being a good listener from Les Giblin’s, How to Have Confidence and Power In Dealing With People.

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Transcription

Seven ways to practice listening.

Hi, I’m Brian Pombo. Welcome back to Brian J. Pombo Live.

Tonight, I wanted to bring up a little point that I found in this great book, How to Have Confidence and Power In Dealing With People, by Les Gibson.

This comes from chapter nine, it’s all about listening.

Now, this has a lot to do with business. Because you’re going to have to listen to your customer at some point. If you’re going to want to take your business to the next level, you got to know what else your customer thinks, what else they’re interested in, what else do they want out of life, and be able to communicate better with them, be able to bring them more of what they want.

And that’s how you can make things go to the next level in your business. It’s a big part.

Now this, a lot of this applies to one on one situations. But it also applies on a large scale, in terms of if you’re dealing with a faceless audience that’s out there purchasing something off of your website, okay, it’s the same deal.

This is Chapter nine from this book, it’s worth worth checking out this book, it’s good, good stuff, still pretty timeless. Let me see when was this book put out originally is 1956.

From my understanding the ffirst time this book came out, it’s been reprinted a bunch of times, you could find it out there.

This is chapter nine. And Oliver Wendell Holmes was quoted as saying, to be able to listen to others in a sympathetic and understanding manner is perhaps the most effective mechanism in the world for getting along with people and tying up their friendship for good. Too few people practice the white magic of being good listeners.

Okay, and then the end of the chapter, he provides seven techniques, seven ways to practice listening.

So if you’re really wanting to get good at listening, number one, look at the person who’s talking. Now, how do you apply that to today?

I mean, if you’re talking to somebody over zoom, which is a great way to get to talk with a customer, or a client, at a distance, if you’re not able, and especially we’re in this is October of 2020, we’re still dealing with who with the COVID-19 crisis.

And so a lot of people aren’t able to see each other in person.

So how do you look at the person who’s talking?

If you’re on any type of video chat, like zoom, or skype, or what have you. FaceTime, if you got iPhones, look at the camera. I know a lot of people don’t get this, that camera is the eyeball.

That’s your eye contact, don’t worry about seeing their eyes, let them see your eyes, stare at the camera, use it like it’s the person’s eyes, you can hear what they’re saying.

Look at the camera like that’s their eyes, because as far as the way they’re going to be looking at it, the more than likely they’re going to be looking at the screen, they’re not going to be looking at the camera. That’s okay.

Let them see you looking at them directly. And not off to the side and not just kind of indirectly see if I look indirectly, I’m still looking at my phone, which I’m recording this on.

But it doesn’t have quite the impact as if I do this. And I look directly at the camera, I don’t know if it if you could see it as well on your end. Because I can’t see myself.

I know doing this enough times that it really is the case, look at the person who’s talking.

Number two, appear deeply interested in what he is saying. Now, this doesn’t mean that you should be putting anything on or acting like you’re deeply interested when you’re not deeply interested.

This is more of showing appreciation for the other person and what they’re saying. And sometimes that takes a little bit of nodding and everything else. It’s natural for me.

I’ve gotten used to doing that over time. But it’s important that you pay attention and show that you’re paying attention. Because it’s good. It just helps with the communication and two things and it allows you to actually listen better if you’re if you’re not focused anywhere else, but just on that person.

Number three, lean toward the person who’s talking.

Okay, that helps to especially in a crowded room or something like that. Or if you’re in an office, and there’s other noises, other things going on. Actually leaning into the camera makes a difference too. If you’re talking electronically.

Ask questions.

There’s number four ask questions.

That’s huge. We talk a lot about that on this on this podcast.

Number five, don’t interrupt. Instead ask him to tell more. goes along with the asking questions right.

Number six, stick to the speaker’s subject.

Don’t change the subject, you change the subject. You’re showing that you have interest somewhere else that you’re trying to drag the conversation off into.

Number seven, use the speaker’s words to get your own point across when the other fellow is finished talking, repeat back to him some of the things he has said.

This not only proves you’ve been listening, but it’s also a good way to introduce your own ideas without opposition. Now, you could see how a lot of these concepts they could be twisted, to where you can manipulate a person.

The same true any book about how to deal with people properly and how to have proper etiquette and how to communicate better can be used for the forces of evil, it totally good.

Of course, you could take the exact same thing and, and insincerity instead of sincerity. And, you know, purposefully trying to manipulate people as opposed to influencing people in a proper way.

You take that in the wrong direction, it can it can happen, you take these same seven rules and be able to take it the wrong way. Don’t though, don’t just do the right thing. practices. I’m hoping I’m talking to the you’re better angels and practice these in a good way. That’ll help bring value to both you and your customer.

And if you’re listening to them, I’ll tell you what no one else is. And they’re going to appreciate it. If you’d like more tips on how to be able to take your business to the next level. Check out my book, 9 Ways to Amazon-Proof Your Business.

You get a free copy at AmazonProofBook.com

AmazonProofBook.com you have a great night. We’ll be back here tomorrow. In the meantime, get out there and let the magic happen.